Anger, for me, has always been a “dark” emotion. It is treacherous, like some thick, thorny bush in which only the smallest of birds can build a nest. And yet, even they sometimes find themselves impaled on its wicked thorns.
I was raised in the South and was schooled that anger was not a proper emotion for women. Southern belles were not prone to “fits of anger.” I learned well, stuffing my anger inside of me, not allowing it to show through to the outside. To do so would have been a black mark on my reputation and my soul. For the longest time, I felt myself inferior because, while I could hide my anger well, I could not stop myself from feeling it.
Over years of time and learning, I have come to realize that anger is a very natural and healthy emotion. Furthermore, I have come to embrace my own anger. It is so much easier to deal with the emotion of anger when you have permission to express it. No stress; no bottled-up rage; no guilt. Just the raw, dynamic emotion of anger.
People and relationships can survive properly displayed anger. They cannot survive the lie of pretending that anger does not exist. The denial of anger leaves deep scars on the psyche and the soul. The need to deny our anger should have gone out with drawstring corsets for tiny-waisted – or not – Southern women. Here’s to admitting when we are angry and realizing that sooner or later, everyone is.